How to confront Bolivian bureaucracy and survive (I hope)

Ok so I have been here since September so I was about to get into trouble with the law. Normally when one enters the country, it is possible to get up to 90 days stay without visa. Until this year, most foreigners who lived in the country could go to a border point every three months, leave and re-enter the country asking for another 90 days. A friend told me he knew of someone who had spent the last 16 years doing just that!!

So, I thought, I could do the same. Except that things have changed and you now get 90 days stay maximum each year. So I stayed for 90 days between September and the end of December, point at which Karen and I went to Chile for New Year. That was my quota of time for 2008. On my return in January, I asked for permission to remain in the country for another 90 days and these are coming to an end next week.

Ohhh noooo…..what am I going to do?? Student visa? No, since you have to apply for it back in the UK. Could I get a visa as my wife’s dependent? No, because she has a volunteer’s resident permit (don’t ask me why, it’s a long story) and as such, cannot, in theory, have dependents.

Should I simply stay on as an illegal? I am yet to find out what the penalty for this might be. I hope a fine and expulsion from the country but then I rather not find out even though this is a country with one third of its population living abroad and, in the case of those in Europe – typically in Spain – 80 per cent of Bolivians are there illegally. Would the authorities here show more understanding with me, another one “…of those fu%^&ing immigrants who come over here to steal our jobs, our women and to bring diseases?” (Sorry but I had to repeat language that a friend in Spain was telling me is becoming rather common to refer to migrants over there).

Best not to find out, I thought. I wouldn’t want to spend a day in San Pedro Prison even though it appears to be a rather popular tourist destination, subject of a book that has made it to a best sellers’ list among backpackers and where, it is said, one can find the cheapest drugs in the city. News of this has become a minor scandal in the country in the last two weeks. Still…best not to find out.

So, instead, I am about to confront the bureaucratic nightmare that seems to be part of getting temporary residency for one year. I am really lucky because as part of a little job I was asked to do for a local NGO, I was given what 70 per cent of Bolivians who work in the informal economy do not have: a contract. Even more than that. When it emerged that a consultancy contract was not enough to satisfy the bureaucratic needs of the process, my friend Cecilia the administrator of this NGO, issued me a common contract that includes a monthly salary, pension and health care contributions… the lot. Can anyone imagine this with Bolivians living in the UK? I don’t think so.

So it appears I now have the most important thing needed to justify a request for a 12 month temporary residency permit. Well, more or less. This new contract has to go to the ministry of employment where for US $ 50 someone will stamp it in two, three... (nobody knows) weeks. But I still need a zillion other documents and signatures to actually get the permit. Do you want to know the list?

OK, here is the process (It will help me write it down so that I know what I am doing). When you apply for temporary residency, you actually have to apply for two separate visas. The first is a 30 day visa “de objeto determinado”(for a given reason - what on earth does that mean?) In order to get this, you need:

• A photocopy of the passport with the entry stamp indicating you are still legally in the country plus the original passport
• The work contract
• A letter stamped by a notary requesting the above visa
• US $300

In my case, I still don’t have the ‘real’ contract but it seems that for US $ 300 you can save yourself the hassle, at least for this one. OK, so after queuing for a while, being told I didn’t have a formal letter (it wasn’t on my list! Honest!), and finally reaching the top of the queue, this man checks you have all the required documentation and then sends you to another window (window number 9), where you pay the money and buy an ‘official folder’ in which to include your documentation (including the passport) and an ‘official form’ in which you write your request for this visa (yet again). After this, you are sent to another window (window number 10) where another person inputs the information written in your ‘official form’ into a computer screen, takes your passport away and gives you a receipt to collect your 30 day visa three days later…this time, I am told, in window number 8.

Pheeewww! Ok, so that was easy. Now begins the difficult bit, getting a 12 month visa. For that, I need the following documentation:

• A memorial (this is some kind of more ‘grand’ letter signed by a notary) making a formal request for this visa
• My passport with the previous 30 day visa
• A photocopy of my passport
• A copy of my employment contract stamped by the ministry of employment plus a photocopy of my employer’s company register

OK, so far so good. But wait, wait, there is more. I also need:

A certificate from INTERPOL saying that I have no previous criminal record. For that, I need:

• My passport and photocopies of it (many, they don't specify how many)
• My legalised contract
• Two photos
• I have to fill in an 'official' form
• Pay US $ 5
• Undergo an interview where they ask me what the hell I want to do in Bolivia
• Give my fingerprints

And after doing that, I can go and collect my INTERPOL certificate one, two, three…(nobody knows) weeks later

Once I have that, I need another certificate of my criminal record, this time from the Bolivian police. For that I need:

• A letter from the notary requesting this certificate (sounds familiar?)
• My passport and more photocopies of it
• And, surprise surprise, a copy of the INTERPOL certificate

OK, so that doesn’t look so bad. But I also need from the police proof of address in Bolivia. But in order to get this, I have to take the following:

• A letter signed by the notary (this sounds familiar) asking the national director of the Bolivian police that I need this certificate
• A photocopy of my passport
• A photocopy of the last payment of property tax (from the flat owner)
• Photocopies of gas, water and electric bills in my house (the fact that they are all in the name of the owner because it is virtually impossible to change them is a problem we will have to sort out when we get there)
• Photocopies of the ID cards of two neighbours who act as witnesses and attest I live there
• A hand drawing of where the flat is located (What?? Are you kidding me??)
• A copy of the INTERPOL certificate that specifies my current address and my previous one
• A photocopy of the rental agreement
• A photocopy of the owner’s ID

OK, we are almost there. In the unlikely event that I can get all this stuff, I will have to wait for this certificate for two, three…(nobody knows) weeks. And once I get it, I will then be able to go for the last step in the whole saga and get the medical certificate in some hospital or other where I will need:

• An ‘official’ certificate form to fill in @ US $ 5
• US $ 20 for the medical exam that includes urine and blood test (including HIV- is this dodgy or what?), a dental examination, and a chest X ray.

Once all of this is done, I can go away and return two, three…(nobody knows) weeks later to collect my medical certificate.

At last! Now I only have to go back to migration with all of these certificates and pay US $ 150. And after that, they will keep my passport for two, three… (nobody knows) weeks after which I will have an ID card that gives me the right to stay in Bolivia for a whole year. I am wondering if the entire process can take place before I actually have to return to the UK in August. But then, nobody can say that I didn’t try which should be a pretty good argument if, after getting into this labyrinth, I cannot get out. Wish me luck.